Social distancing in America

When I first decided that I was going to stay at home and practice social distancing, it was a decision I made with complete clarity, and one that felt almost patriotic. I had been reading about the alarming aspects of the spread of the novel coronavirus and of course its high mortality rates. But, it was the news out of Italy that was most sobering. The news that the current medical infrastructure in any country would be, as it was in China’s and Northern Italy’s cases, unable to keep up with the number of infected people needing care at the height of the outbreak. That was eye opening and mindset changing for me. It meant that the most important thing that I could do and must do was to stay at home and reduce my exposure to people.

My first act as a social distancer was to inform my husband that I would not be going to the Lyric for the Beatles tribute band concert, but he was free to go if he wanted to go. He was very supportive. A little surprised, but supportive. He ended up giving the tickets away to someone in his office, who had a great time. My next efforts were not so clear cut or successful. I am a U.S. Masters Swimmer and belong to the Columbia Masters group. We swim mostly at the Swim Center. I knew that given the schedules of my “lane mates,” I would be swimming in a lane by myself at the next practice I would normally attend. Swimming is my sanity. So, how could I stay home when I figured I’d be social distanced enough…

Indoor Pool

Well, I was so conflicted it hurt. I did end up swimming. In a lane by myself. Social distance seemed to be achieved. But I did not feel great about being out. Next up, another opportunity to social distance. I attend a weekly meeting that is also not overcrowded and opportunities to space myself away from others are available. I ended up going there too. But, by now, I am racked with guilt. And shame. I was not being very good at sticking to my decision to stay at home. Then, just to put the icing on the cake, well-meaning folks were all over social media talking about still going to restaurants and making sure they lend a hand of support to small business. My husband came home from work and said, “Let’s grab something to eat out somewhere.” I knew that was not what I wanted to do, because that was not social distancing. It was  going into a group of people, who had been going about their business and not staying at home. So, the final test failure of the day was going to dinner at Chipotle. In my mind I was thinking that, “OK, this means that my 10-14 day isolation to make sure I’m not carrying the virus has now been set back the whole day, and I’m not being a very good citizen.”

Meanwhile, I am still reading reports of the spread of the virus and efforts being made overseas to stem that spread. It is very clear that the best way to do that is to keep people from being around other people. When I woke up the following morning I was in an uncluttered mental place with the staying at home decision. And, thankfully, it was one that was unencumbered by opportunities to undertake the bartering and justifying I had done the previous day. In fact, I was almost giddy at the opportunity to do my part, which still seems woefully small and insignificant in the face of the trials facing many Europeans and a small number of Americans now. However, I know from all the reading I’m doing it is not insignificant. It’s lifesaving and hopefully catastrophe-saving.

Thirty Years Later

La Sagrada Familia
Barcelona, Spain

Rocky, exasperating, frustrating, overwhelming, and hard are a few of the words I would use to describe my first few weeks in Spain, where I was transplanted for my Junior year of college. However, those aren’t any of the words I actually use to describe my study abroad experience, mind you. I look back on my study abroad experience with happiness, excitement, pride, and a deep yearning to go back. In fact, I have a number of stories about things that I experienced when I first arrived that I laugh about now, but that I did not find funny at all at the time. So, having a child go overseas for his semester abroad program, has reminded me of the not often talked about parts of study abroad: the culture shock. We used the terms “culture shock” and “reverse culture shock” before and after my study abroad experience, back in the day. But, talking about it and learning what types of feelings are bundled under the umbrella of the term “culture shock,” does not prepare you for it happening to you. Funny thing about feelings. And, while I believe that everyone experiences some sort of culture shock, not everyone’s culture shock manifests in the same way. But, I guess, it was helpful to have the idea that what one is experiencing is normal. Although, I don’t once recall thinking, “Oh, yes. This is my culture shock talking,” when I was having a frustrated moment.And, communication has changed so much since I lived in Spain, it is mind-boggling to me. While I had pushed all of my entry into Spain and Spanish culture issues (READ: my culture shock) well to the back of my mind, I was brought back face to face with them through my son.

And, while it was a bit uncomfortable to hear he was experiencing his culture shock, it was nice to be able to say, “Yeah, I remember that. I felt that way, too.” So, while the sum total of our parenting advice has been something along the lines of, “Hang in there!” and “You can do it!” I had more peace about the place my son found himself in those early weeks of his Junior year. I knew that he was so close to getting over the biggest hump and would be fine. It just takes time.

While I mentally wrestled with ways I could “help” him, I began thinking about thirty years ago. One thing that came to me was an analogy. Undertaking a study abroad program is like panning for gold in the late 1800s. The conditions are physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing. You’re standing in unfamiliar waters, performing unfamiliar tasks, like bending down and scooping up rocks and dirt and water and shaking out the unwanted parts. It’s demanding all of your attention to find the gold nuggets. But, you find them. Some are small, some a little bigger, and every now and then, you find a sizeable chunk of gold. You put all the nuggets that you find in a pouch or off to the side and continue panning. When you stop at the end of the day, you may not find that you have many nuggets. But, at the end of the week or month or semester, you will have lots of gold nuggets. Those gold nuggets are what you will be proud of, thankful for, and will be what you remember about your study abroad experience. The lack of reliable 24/7 WiFi will fade into the deep recesses of your mind, crowded out by the awesome, shiny gold nuggets you are holding.

Another thing that came to me was a word of advice: Don’t compare your insides (READ: what you are feeling) to somebody else’s SnapChat stories, Instagram pictures, Facebook posts, or tweets on Twitter. Seeing people who are also studying abroad appearing to be having an amazing time without any of the culture shock piece does not mean they are not also struggling to come to terms with their new environment. They are. And, just a P.S. Everyone is thinking the same thing about your cool photos and posts on social media.

And finally, I thought, it’s important to find your inner warrior. Be fearless. Face the day resolving to do your best, make the best of every situation, and have fun. I used to picture a map of the world and then picture where I was compared to my family and friends. I used that image to propel me through days I didn’t want to get out bed, as well as days I was having so much fun, I didn’t want to go to sleep.

Monserrat
Catalonia, Spain

 

 

 

 

#MyGlobalLife

 

Taking Time to Enjoy Holiday Happenings

My First (non-artist guided) Painting!

I’m trying to keep myself from the usual adrenaline rush that comes when I think about how close Christmas actually is to today. No matter what day it is after Thanksgiving, I usually find myself in the sprint to Christmas. This year, as in most years, I’m trying to slow it down and take it all in and enjoy it. No sprinting around and not taking time to fully appreciate everything I love about Christmas for me this year. Nope. I’m going to take time to see, smell, taste, and enjoy the season. So, I have been looking for holiday-themed concerts and activities to enhance the jolly in my holiday. My mom had been looking for a holiday activity or two, also. Thanks to a new on-line community events calendar  and the outstanding community building and communication efforts of HoCoBlogs, I was able to hear about a neat holiday event: the Howard County Historical Society 38th Annual Holiday House Tour. It sounds like a very delightful way to spend an afternoon.  Happily, mom agreed. So, we have made plans to go. We can’t wait! The tour takes place Sunday, December 14, 2014 and is an opportunity to see five historic Howard County properties, while traveling comfortably in an Eyre bus. There is still time (but not much!) to get tickets! Visit the Howard County Historical Society’s website for details. Will we see you there? 

 

 

That’s A Wrap on a Busy Week!

Some of the Columbia Masters Swimmers Sporting Their Tie Dyed Team Shirts

I can't believe how long it's been since I blogged. It is far more difficult to find the time to write when the kids are home. This past week was also filled to the brim with work for me. I worked endless hours at the swim shop getting kids ready for summer swim team. I worked a last minute Kitchen Angel job. And, I taught a couple of private swim lessons. Whew! All the while, I managed to keep up with my own swimming and lifting.

Today, I was able to bask in the glory of having nothing to do except go to my daughter's Women's Premier Soccer League game. Of course, “basking” for a mom means running around the house trying to clean, straighten, and otherwise get the house back on track from at least a week plus of my neglecting it. I did enough to be able to stand it until I can get more done tomorrow.

I wanted to make sure I updated you on how amazing my tie dye shirt turned out. We all had three universal thoughts on the whole Dish n Dye Tie Dye party for our Masters group: 1) My shirt is not going to turn out good, 2) Wow, my shirt turned out great, and 3) I can't believe I made that shirt! We have all gotten tons of compliments on the shirts already, and most people add a comment about how they'd never be able to make such a cool shirt. So, now I can speak with some level of beginner success expertise when I say, “Yes, you can do it! Erin is awesome and will lead you in creating a cool shirt of your own!” If you still have not checked out the Roll Up N Dye website, Facebook page, Instagram or Twitter, do it this weekend. You'll be inspired to plan a tie dye party of your own, I bet!

 

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We’re All Adults Here

 

We have officially moved into a new realm as parents. Yes. Another noticeable milestone has been reached. Alex wanted to come with John and me to the HoCoBlogs party at Alexandra's Restaurant at Turf Valley this evening. He was looking forward to meeting some bloggers and seeing what it's all about. It was such an adult thing to want to do. I was surprised and happy he was willing to come. Alyssa had attended a HoCoBlogs party (also at Alexandra's) back in January, and I appreciated her coming with us then.

The party was another delightful event. We were treated to delicious appetizers that everyone was raving about. I met a couple more bloggers and was able to say hello to several familiar ones. Alexandra's once again proved to be a warm and inviting location for the bloggers and their readers. I'm glad we made it out tonight.

 

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