When I first decided that I was going to stay at home and practice social distancing, it was a decision I made with complete clarity, and one that felt almost patriotic. I had been reading about the alarming aspects of the spread of the novel coronavirus and of course its high mortality rates. But, it was the news out of Italy that was most sobering. The news that the current medical infrastructure in any country would be, as it was in China’s and Northern Italy’s cases, unable to keep up with the number of infected people needing care at the height of the outbreak. That was eye opening and mindset changing for me. It meant that the most important thing that I could do and must do was to stay at home and reduce my exposure to people.
My first act as a social distancer was to inform my husband that I would not be going to the Lyric for the Beatles tribute band concert, but he was free to go if he wanted to go. He was very supportive. A little surprised, but supportive. He ended up giving the tickets away to someone in his office, who had a great time. My next efforts were not so clear cut or successful. I am a U.S. Masters Swimmer and belong to the Columbia Masters group. We swim mostly at the Swim Center. I knew that given the schedules of my “lane mates,” I would be swimming in a lane by myself at the next practice I would normally attend. Swimming is my sanity. So, how could I stay home when I figured I’d be social distanced enough…
Indoor Pool
Well, I was so conflicted it hurt. I did end up swimming. In a lane by myself. Social distance seemed to be achieved. But I did not feel great about being out. Next up, another opportunity to social distance. I attend a weekly meeting that is also not overcrowded and opportunities to space myself away from others are available. I ended up going there too. But, by now, I am racked with guilt. And shame. I was not being very good at sticking to my decision to stay at home. Then, just to put the icing on the cake, well-meaning folks were all over social media talking about still going to restaurants and making sure they lend a hand of support to small business. My husband came home from work and said, “Let’s grab something to eat out somewhere.” I knew that was not what I wanted to do, because that was not social distancing. It was going into a group of people, who had been going about their business and not staying at home. So, the final test failure of the day was going to dinner at Chipotle. In my mind I was thinking that, “OK, this means that my 10-14 day isolation to make sure I’m not carrying the virus has now been set back the whole day, and I’m not being a very good citizen.”
Meanwhile, I am still reading reports of the spread of the virus and efforts being made overseas to stem that spread. It is very clear that the best way to do that is to keep people from being around other people. When I woke up the following morning I was in an uncluttered mental place with the staying at home decision. And, thankfully, it was one that was unencumbered by opportunities to undertake the bartering and justifying I had done the previous day. In fact, I was almost giddy at the opportunity to do my part, which still seems woefully small and insignificant in the face of the trials facing many Europeans and a small number of Americans now. However, I know from all the reading I’m doing it is not insignificant. It’s lifesaving and hopefully catastrophe-saving.
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