When I get into a down-in-the-dumps funk and feel like nothing is going my way and therefore I must be “less than” others, I have a friend who looks at me in complete shock and exclaims, “You are awesome! If you could only see yourself the way I (and others) see you! “If you could only see and hear what I see and hear from you!” I'm really lucky to have someone who says this to me. In fact, I am fortunate to have a bunch of people cheering me on through the rough patches: my husband, my Mom and my Dad, even my kids will quickly counter any negative self talk that may spill out of my “self.”
Self doubt happens. To everyone. At some time or another and in varying degrees. I see it pop up a little here and there when I am trying something new. I have been trying a lot of new things lately. And, I have been quite successful at noticing the fear and then doing the new stuff anyway.
But it wasn't always that way. Sometimes fear or doubt won and I didn't move forward. So, what have I done and what can I do to quiet the part of my mind that is frustrated, unsure, confused, or just plain ready to be pissed off at myself?
I can change the story I tell myself about me.
I can do yoga. It's nearly impossible to berate yourself and focus on your breathing at the same time.
I can find a mantra or thought that doesn't tell myself all the stuff that isn't working or is wrong, but find one that highlights the good and great parts.
I can do something nice for myself.
I can treat myself to 1 minute or 30 minutes of mindful quiet – to quiet my mind.
And, once quieted, I can change any potentially negative thoughts to positive ones.
Today I enjoyed 90 minutes of restorative yoga. Wow. Talk about a total mind and body reboot. It was awesome. And as I was resting in our final pose, Savasana, I thought of something I would like my kids to know and think about if they ever have moments of self doubt or need to change the story they are telling themselves:
Close your eyes. Let the story you tell yourself be: You are confident and competent.You are loved and loving. See yourself as you see the most cherished person in your life.
YOU are that awesome.